Coupla Greek Chicks Sittin Around Talkin
by OrangeBlossomMoss
Summary: Gabrielle tries to occupy her time while recovering from a near-death experience


Being sick was the pits, Gabrielle thought.

She supposed she should be feeling grateful- after all, she'd been pulled back from the brink of death only two days before, after falling into a river and nearly drowning. No, she corrected herself, she _had_ drowned. If it hadn't been for the intervention of two total strangers, she'd be wandering the Elysian Fields right now.

But it was hard to feel gratitude when she felt so weak and useless. She could barely move without coughing. Her hosts had propped her up with a combination of pillows and furs, so at least she was sitting… but she didn't have the strength to leave the bed.

Meanwhile, Xena was off hunting, out in the fresh air and sunshine. And Joxer, oddly enough, was helping one of her rescuers- Lysander- build a fence to expand his sheep pen.

And she got to just sit here, sweating out her fever and bored out of her mind.

The bedroom door- half-door, really, the cottage was awfully dilapidated- swung open and her other rescuer, the wood-nymph Echo, came in bearing a tray laden with steaming bowls.

"What's that, lunch?" Gabrielle croaked.

"One of them's a poultice for your chest. The other one's lunch," Echo replied.

Echo had been cursed by Hera- she could _only_ reply, never speak first. What must that be like? Gabrielle had to wonder about that. What if you needed to ask somebody for help? Or even to get out of your way?

Echo sat down on the bed and gestured at Gabrielle's shirt.

"Um. Take it off, or just open it?"

"Open it." Soon the nymph was smearing deep yellow gunk on the bard's chest. It was wonderfully warm, with an unpleasant astringent smell.

"What is this stuff?"

"It's a rare plant from far to the Southeast; it can't be grown here. It's called eucalyptus."

"It's making me dizzy." But it seemed to be making it easier to breathe, at least.

"Sorry. Where it grows, these little gray bears eat it all day, and they're always too drunk to behave like bears. They just stare at people."

"You're making that up!" Gabrielle accused.

"Am not."

The nymph handed Gabrielle the other bowl, which was full of spicy rabbit stew. She could barely taste it, in her condition, but she began wolfing it down any way.

The nymph watched her with ill-conceived amusement.

"What?" Gaby asked, with her mouth full.

Echo just smiled and shook her head.

And then, joy of joys, she produced something else from the tray: Gabrielle's scrolls, her quills, and her ink bottles.

"Oh, thank you," Gaby said sincerely. "I've been so…"

"Bored?"

"Yes." Now that she had something to do, she polished off the stew quickly. She must write down the story of her recent rescue, and Xena's battle with the same gang of robbers, twice in one day, and…

"Can I ask you some questions?"

"All right. Let me just take the dirty dishes away." The wood-nymph reloaded the tray and left.

Gabrielle tried to decide how to describe her. Echo was the first nymph she'd ever actually seen. She'd always figured nymphs were like dryads- only vaguely human, and probably hostile. But Echo could be mistaken for a human teenager; the only hint that she was something else, was her cat-like grace and calm.

Then again, the bard mused, she'd also always heard that satyrs were rude, drunken and lecherous, and Echo's husband, the satyr Lysander, was rather charming.

Echo came back in and sat down.

"So…" Gabrielle started. "Could you tell me about you?'

"Why?"

"Well, when I write about how you rescued me, I want to write a little about who you are, too. I mean, is it true you used to hunt with Artemis?"

"Of course I did. Is it true you're Queen of the Amazons?" Echo shot back.

"Oh." Gabrielle was taken aback. "Yes, I was. Why, um, why aren't you with her any more?"

"Lost my virginity to Pan. And then I got cursed. It kind of soiled me, in her opinion. Why aren't you queen any more?"

"Someone else wanted to be queen and tried to kill me. Too stressful. I let my friend Ephiny take the job." There was more to the story than that, of course, but who was supposed to be asking the questions here? "What about Lysander?"

"He never hunted with her, no."

"But, where did he come from?"

"Your mother never told you the facts of life?" Echo giggled.

"No, I mean, in the stories I've heard, there was hunting, and then there was Narcissus, and then you died."

Echo laughed out loud. Gabrielle couldn't help but laugh too, until it brought on a coughing fit.

"What's so funny?"

"If you'd ever met Narcissus, you'd know. The idea of anybody pining away and dying for _him_ is beyond ridiculous." Echo smirked. "I never knew a man so besotted with himself. What about you? Any wretched first love you wish you'd avoided?"

"I sort of did. Avoid him." Gabrielle sighed. "And then someone killed him."

"Oh." Echo blushed. "Sorry. My mouth still gets me into trouble."

Gabrielle felt a little guilty too. She hadn't thought about Perdicus in… well.. ages. She didn't really want to think about him now.

"But back to Lysander?"

"We met in Assyria," Echo said. "It's a long story, for a time when you have more ink."

"But I've never even heard his name before," Gabrielle said.

"There are lots of people in the world you've never heard of," Echo replied. "And he thinks his father Aristaeus was infamous enough for the both of them."

"Wait, the same Aristaeus who tried to rape Eurydice?" Gabrielle stared at her, wide-eyed.

"Yes. Is your Xena the same one who used to be a warlord?"

"Oh, well… yeah. But she's doing her best to make up for it. And I chronicle her deeds."

"Queen turned bard? And you think _my_ story is interesting?" Echo settled in and got comfortable. "I want to hear about some of _your_ adventures."

Gabrielle realized the tables had been firmly turned. She set aside her scrolls and sighed.

"Well," she said, "This one time, we got stuck on this cursed ship, where the crew could never, ever leave. And the captain, Cecrops? He was immortal. And…"

Joxer held the fence post steady as Lysander raised his mallet to pound it in place.

"So," the satyr said. Whack! "Which one is it- the blonde or the brunette?"

"Blonde," Joxer said.

"Any progress there?" Whack!

"No." Joxer stepped away from the post; it stood firm. "Want to hear something strange?"

"Sure." They moved on to the next hole, and maneuvered the next post into it.

"My brother said I won't get anywhere with her because they're both Lesbians."

Lysander cocked his head, thinking about it. "Lesbians?"

"Yeah. That can't be right. I mean, Xena's from Amphipolis, and Gabrielle's from Potadeia. They're not from Lesbos."

Whack! The mallet came down again.

"I didn't think so," Lysander commented. "Lesbians have this odd accent- they pronounce their "C's" like "G's." Once, I met a fellow from Lesbos named Cassius, only when he introduced himself, I thought he said "Hello, I'm Gaseous." I told him I didn't really want to know that about him."

Joxer cracked up; for a moment, he wasn't sure he could hold the post steady any more. Eventually, he could.

"I wonder what Jett meant, then," he mused.

"No clue," Lysander shrugged, and raised the mallet again.

And with that, the lengthy conversation was over.

The End.


End file.
